Day 110 can I leave yet?

So I am 34 and 5 days pregnant..... I have been in the hospital 110 days. I have type one diabetes and a incompetent cervix. So I have been on bed rest FOREVER. I always said I would NEVER wish to have my baby boy early, however:

I am told the it doesn't matter if I wait till 38 weeks he will still spend a week in the hospital NICU.

This is NOT something I am happy about. I think god damn it I have worked way to Hard for him to have to go though all of that.... And to have to leave the hospital without him in my arms.

So basically I am bitchy Becuase I am told it doesn't matter what I do he will be born with blood sugar probloms. By doctor is taking him out the first week of June. Again...... Yeah that is only 37 weeks... I was not really ok with this because if he was born with probloms I would always wonder if one more day would have made the diffreance. So I told the doctor I want to just go into labor on my own.... Ahe said that wasn't safe, my uterus is really weak from a previous c-section. And she doesn't want me to rupture. Anyway:
I am tired of hurting, I am tired of being fed that same food every day: Monday eggs bacon muffin, chef salad, chicken strips. Tuesday blueberry coffee cake eggs bacon, something they call turkey and meatloaf for dinner, you get the idea.

I hurt everywhere, those of you who are misrable walking around..... Try being stuck in bed with and IV for 16 weeks.... And I have two more to go... My head aches constantly, my body hurts so bad I cry and my spine is so far unaligned that it might very well be a question mark! I need a chiropractor but of corse the hospital doesn't have a contract with one... So I am shit out of luck.... I am not allowed to sleep next to my husband.... Because he has to take care of our little boy. And I don't have any right to be so selfish as to take away his daddy. It's bad enough he only sees momma two hours a week.

My older sister, my use to be biggest support is all wrapped up in the kelly cup championship. And I am pretty sure she doesn't give a shit about me at all because I don't skate, and I don't have hockey equipment.

Anyway I just don't see the point anymore.... If he is born now he will be way early, he will spend a few weeks in the hospital. But If he is born term... He will spend some time in the nicu.... So.... Wth?

Anyway, I am just tired of hurting I am tired of being here, I am tired of being pregnent and I am sick and tired if knowing that I have to be here for 2 more weeks... Which I will be, because.... I don't want this kiddo to have to spend anymore time then nessasary here in this he'll hole.


Also a funny story to add to this rant bitch session. Is my youngest sister called me to tell me about the greatest first date ever!!! It is my doctors youngest son.... Lol leta just say she is the only one in the state: she has a 2 million doller house, and she flew to new york last weekend for 36 hours to see a consert. She is loaded, and she doesnt give her sons anything, but he has his medical school paid for already. It makes me laugh at the small world that is Alaska!