Hello, I am so tired of being right here! Constantly... I mean let me clarify, I love why I am here. I was born to keep my kids safe. But I wish I could be home. With my family. I miss Jason a lot!! Just stupid stuff. I won't make you sick with details. Lol
So I went to bed on 24th at 4:30ish. So I was up late.. I don't sleep like a normal human... I have to take abien to sleep, and so I wait till I am at least a little tired before taking it and going to bed.
So saturday, I have had very little sleep, my nurse a horrible lady named Lori of whom came at 8:30 in the morning and had a very, up and out-um additude. I was really annoyed. It was early, very little sleep, and my breakfast wasn't even in my room yet.
She announced that she was going to do a NST. I told her that I wasn't getting hooked up before breakfast, I am NOT a morning person. And all my normal nurses know this. I am normally treated differently. Anyway she said "well the doctors order says we have to do it before noon." I told her "look it is only 9 in the morning at this point" we have time. Yes it was bitchy. But I wasn't sorry, you can't rush me. I have a routine. Don't mess with it. It keeps me sane. Sane is important!
I eat and called her to hook me up to listen to Sir Conner, this way I can go back to sleep.
It took her 45 minutes to get to me. But whatever.
So I I doze for a while, get up about 1ish eat lunch, Doctor Richey comes in everything with Sir Conner is good. I go get my "carwash" which is what they call a shower. After my shower I get dressed, and asked to have my IV flushed.. I have an IV. They don't use it. But I have one. In case of emergancy like a low sugar or something. She comes in and I am on my phone reading facebook, and when I say pain mean it. It Hurt so bad I was crying and dude it was like a pop, burn, sting. And she acted like I was just overrating. Even stating "I'm not even touching it" well I don't care if your touching it or not, it hurts likes a mother fuxker. Anyway I am no crying cuz it hurts. I don't cry.... The stick me an average of 4 times every time they put in an IV. I don't ever cry, or whine. I just deal. No biggie.... This was a biggie. It hurt a lot!!
I am really upset, she said it flushed just fine they were not taking it out. Awesome. So I have to continue to hurt.
I was told that although I my blood sugars have always been taken by me, they are now checking them. And I am NOT thrilled. It pretty much takes the control away. Not to mention that when I feel my sugar is being funny I have to call the nurse and, here's my favorite part! Wait.
So I felt funny and my sugar needed to be checked and without thinking I checked my sugar... 28 no good!
I drank juice. Cuz that is how you fix it.
The tech came in to check my sugar, I told her, you know its gonna be low. FYI
It was 32 and then the freak out happens... The nurse who doesn't know me.
Treats me like a 32 instead Of a halee with a low sugar that is fully alert and able to drink juice. So he comes in and forces me to drink more juice.. Ok whatever. Than she says rudely that she isn't leaving and I told her that I didn't want her in here and she needed to leave. She said she wasn't leaving and then proceeded to talk to me about what little info she had about my life. I told her I didn't like her here, I didn't want to talk about my family, and if she HAD to be here fine them sit there and don't talk to me... She then continues to talk and I told her to shut the fuck up. She then waits 10 minutes and checks my sugar again. (your suppose to wait 15) and my sugar had raised some to 45. She then tells me that I have to drink another juice. Which I tell her I don't need another juice... I need time for the first two to work.. She then said I could drink it or she would push sugar through my already blown IV. I drank the juice and told her to get the fuck out.
Vicky one of my normal nurses came in and gave me a hug and said that she was sorry that Lisa or lorri or whatever her name was.... Rude and had no niceness in her. And I vented about how I didn't like being treated like a number and not a human... There is a difference between 28 and 28. Being one os still dropping.. And one that is just hanging out low. The first one I need help, sugar in my IV and a nurse to sit with me. The other one I need juice and 15 minutes and a snack. I don't want to pass out any more then they want me to. It SUCKS!!
The rest of the day was good nurse bitch left me alone... And I spent the rest of the night on the phone with my people, and whitney Also came by and it was good to see her and little miss. Shift change brought Patience who is amazing...
Mom came in later and we went on a walk. And hung out it was a good ending to a pretty crappy day.
On a another note there are people out there that think I am a negative person. That just needs to "count my blessings" and that I make blanket statements that basically blame the world.
I was more then a lot offend, I spend so much time being positive. Keeping my eye on the goal. Taking care of Conner, and no matter what happens I try to focus on the good things through out the day... Not focusing on the bad. This way I stay up. And not depressed. It is a lot of work. And I don't know why someone would say that. I don't feel sorry for myself. I am making the best of things. And doing my best keeping my head up. It is sometimes very hard to do. Sometimes the walls close in. And I can't breath. Sometime I miss my son, my husband, my family pictures on my walls at my house. I miss making Conner's room. I want to help prepare for our little man. But I guess I just need to keep on keeping on.
Anyway that is my little vent.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Dear Conner, 2/23.2011
Dear Baby Boy,
Conner Mathew Giese, I want to start out saying how much i love you, No I want to start out by saying How much you are loved. Your Daddy, your Momma, Your Big Brother, Your aunties,grandmas,grandpas,great grandmas and Great Grandpas, You are loved so much that you will probably grow up smothered and spoiled ROTTEN, Just like your Big Brother.
His Name is Justin Alexander Giese, He loves Trucks, hugs, kisses, His Daddy, Momma, and His kitties. He doesn't understand that you are coming yet. he might not understand when you get here. I don't know. but he is going to grow up and love you and teach you all the things you can get away with. and how to get me and daddy to not be mad anymore, probably with just a look. He is Really good at that.
Your Aunties, will always be there. your bestest friends, your greatest enemies, and a huge confidant.
you Have cousins also... Kaylynn, and Treyton. both of which are awesome.
I want to tell you that you will probably here as you grow up how much Trouble Momma went though to get you here safely.. Don't worry about it. I would do it all over again. I know that this is just a small moment in life. a moment that will lead to the second best moment that i have ever experienced. not the Second best, like the fist one was better.. second best like I was blessed enough to do it twice. Daddy is going to put you in my arms and i am going to be tired, but i am going to hold you so close to my heart that you will never leave.
You are going to grow up, Get big, learn things, play with toys, go to school, Graduate, go to collage, Get married... or maybe live at home till your 30 i don't know, Don't try that last one, Daddy will kick your butt, LOL. but whatever you do with your life, know that I as well as your daddy will stand behind you. Help you learn, sometimes the hard way. In fact if your anything like your momma probably the hard way.
I find myself in moments like this wondering who you will look like, but i realize your gonna look like You. perfect wonderful Handsome YOU!
I just wanted to write some stuff.. I am leaving a zillion things out. Like telling you about Grandma andrea, and Grandma Paula. they love you also Just so you know.
someday i will tell you how momma and daddy met. how we wanted and dreamed of having you and your brother, how hard daddy had to work to make your Room Perfect. and it will be..
All i can say is Keep momma on bed rest for a really long time. cuz it is the best blessing EVer.. to have you as my son.
Love your Momma
Conner Mathew Giese, I want to start out saying how much i love you, No I want to start out by saying How much you are loved. Your Daddy, your Momma, Your Big Brother, Your aunties,grandmas,grandpas,great grandmas and Great Grandpas, You are loved so much that you will probably grow up smothered and spoiled ROTTEN, Just like your Big Brother.
His Name is Justin Alexander Giese, He loves Trucks, hugs, kisses, His Daddy, Momma, and His kitties. He doesn't understand that you are coming yet. he might not understand when you get here. I don't know. but he is going to grow up and love you and teach you all the things you can get away with. and how to get me and daddy to not be mad anymore, probably with just a look. He is Really good at that.
Your Aunties, will always be there. your bestest friends, your greatest enemies, and a huge confidant.
you Have cousins also... Kaylynn, and Treyton. both of which are awesome.
I want to tell you that you will probably here as you grow up how much Trouble Momma went though to get you here safely.. Don't worry about it. I would do it all over again. I know that this is just a small moment in life. a moment that will lead to the second best moment that i have ever experienced. not the Second best, like the fist one was better.. second best like I was blessed enough to do it twice. Daddy is going to put you in my arms and i am going to be tired, but i am going to hold you so close to my heart that you will never leave.
You are going to grow up, Get big, learn things, play with toys, go to school, Graduate, go to collage, Get married... or maybe live at home till your 30 i don't know, Don't try that last one, Daddy will kick your butt, LOL. but whatever you do with your life, know that I as well as your daddy will stand behind you. Help you learn, sometimes the hard way. In fact if your anything like your momma probably the hard way.
I find myself in moments like this wondering who you will look like, but i realize your gonna look like You. perfect wonderful Handsome YOU!
I just wanted to write some stuff.. I am leaving a zillion things out. Like telling you about Grandma andrea, and Grandma Paula. they love you also Just so you know.
someday i will tell you how momma and daddy met. how we wanted and dreamed of having you and your brother, how hard daddy had to work to make your Room Perfect. and it will be..
All i can say is Keep momma on bed rest for a really long time. cuz it is the best blessing EVer.. to have you as my son.
Love your Momma
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Omg what am I gonna do
So it just hit me, I am alone here.
It is midnight, on a Monday, and here I am in a little room with the walls closing in tight. I know that I could call and wake people and feel better, but how selfish would that be.
I am not the center of the universe.
But my room is a mess, and I am not allowed to fix it. I want to be able to get into the one closet that I have but my fridge is in the way. And I have to have it close. Or I would never be able to get to my food without help.
I hate bugging the nurses. There are more them just me on the unit and I am sure that there are more important things then my fixing mess of a room. Which would just get messed up again.
So I find myself crying with no one to call cuz that would be messed up.
It's not fair!
It is my first night of crying myself to sleep. So I guess I will just do that. And deal in the morning.
It is midnight, on a Monday, and here I am in a little room with the walls closing in tight. I know that I could call and wake people and feel better, but how selfish would that be.
I am not the center of the universe.
But my room is a mess, and I am not allowed to fix it. I want to be able to get into the one closet that I have but my fridge is in the way. And I have to have it close. Or I would never be able to get to my food without help.
I hate bugging the nurses. There are more them just me on the unit and I am sure that there are more important things then my fixing mess of a room. Which would just get messed up again.
So I find myself crying with no one to call cuz that would be messed up.
It's not fair!
It is my first night of crying myself to sleep. So I guess I will just do that. And deal in the morning.
2/21/2011 Monday
So, today was the best day ever! it was Monday, I had a good breakfast, Cream of Wheat.. Love it!!!
My Boys got here pretty early, they brought gifts, Bread, licorice, pedicure stuff, razor, and Shaving Cream. YAY.
then we went for lunch, Meaning I got out of my ROOM. it was so awesome. it has almost been 4 weeks, i am so happy about that, it is crazy, then i got to hangout with Jason and Justin on the couch and watch a movie. it was so good to cuddle and love on my boys.
Justin was about sick of the hospital so they had to leave.. but it was still the best date ever!!!
then i called and talked to my bestest in Washington. she sounds great.. and she is so supportive. and Gets it, the bed rest this sucks stuff,. the food stuff,.. just the stuff. so we talked for a long old time.. and it was great.
Doctor Richey came in, she is happy with how things are going. didn't say much, was glad that I got out of this room though.
Doctor Tanner Called me. our weekly appt. and it went well cuz i am doing all the right things. and learning a lot about how to do things on my own. so that also went well..
I have some unsettling things going on in my head, I was thinking about the time line, i am 22 weeks almost 23. Obviously My little Conner wouldn't make it if born right now, so i need him in there cooking for at least 10 more weeks.. and that is a minimum so i need all the prayers i can get.
we got the paint for his room, and the bedding is all picked out and bought. it looks Great.
Conner is doing well i am hoping for a ultrasound soon for a weight check and just to look at his sweet face again.. i know i am pathetic.
anyway... that is about how much went on today,.. it was alot. and i am going to take it super easy tomorrow so that i don't overdo it and cause Conner any unsettling contractions. Luckily i am not contracting. just a little irritated. so it is a little uncomfortable. but Conner is still good. am moving quite a bit.
I really appreciate all my friends and family that help me deal with the trapped feeling that happens, and i am so grateful for all my support. My Doctors Nurses, Family, Friends, and Of course my Husband and Son.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
February 20 2011 Sunday!
Really I am testing to see if I can really blog via text message from my phone, why I even care I don't know? Cuz I have a app for that. Lol.
Today was good I finished my hotpad thing I was making, next I am making Justin-head a blanket then Sir Conner one.
Conner did some questionable things on his NST (non-stress test) mostly his heartbeat was not acting like a 22 weeker. He wasn't as active. Which was concerning to Doctor Richey. So they put him back on to find that he really is just fine. This morning he was Just enjoying momma percocet. Or however you spell it. They gave me some last night because I got one of my really bad headaches. and it stays with him a lot longer then me. A fact I am not happy with. But having headaches like that also not an option. So I guess there could be some serious judgements that could happen, but IMO in till you have sat where I have, you get to understand that i don't give a damn what you think.
I am excited about tomorrow because it is presidents day, federal holiday! And jason has the day off, so I get to see both of them and get out of my room for a short time. Yay!! Anyway. The end!
Today was good I finished my hotpad thing I was making, next I am making Justin-head a blanket then Sir Conner one.
Conner did some questionable things on his NST (non-stress test) mostly his heartbeat was not acting like a 22 weeker. He wasn't as active. Which was concerning to Doctor Richey. So they put him back on to find that he really is just fine. This morning he was Just enjoying momma percocet. Or however you spell it. They gave me some last night because I got one of my really bad headaches. and it stays with him a lot longer then me. A fact I am not happy with. But having headaches like that also not an option. So I guess there could be some serious judgements that could happen, but IMO in till you have sat where I have, you get to understand that i don't give a damn what you think.
I am excited about tomorrow because it is presidents day, federal holiday! And jason has the day off, so I get to see both of them and get out of my room for a short time. Yay!! Anyway. The end!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Crap that will piss someone off, 2/19/11
So I am having a really hard time with the shiny bright side of this whole situation.
I live in a HOSPITAL! I get out of bed when i have to pee. but FYI its a risk. to my son, but i cant pee on my bed anymore or i would freak out.
I eat what the Hospital provides, sometimes, (but not all the time) things i pick. but lets face it. it is stuff that EVERYONE complains about when talking about the hospital stay. I get to eat here for 123 days. YAY ME
I live in my bed, I have eat in my bed, i brush my teeth in bed, because standing of two minutes to brush my teeth could end my pregnancy. which is NOT AN OPTION.
because i live in bed means all my activities happen in my bed which include but are not limited to..... coloring, cross stitching, facebooking, leg excises, tv watching, all of which i am very grateful to have available to me. however i drop something. I have to call someone to get it. i lose something in the covers i have to try to find it.. which takes a lot of moving which i am not really suppose to do. because movement stresses my uterus which holds Conner, which needs to not be stressed because i need it to continue to hold Conner. so losing things which does happen, ex. Phones, speakers for the TV, Pens, God countless pens, Crayons, markers, needles, as well a zillions of crumbs that later make me itch, and get horribly uncomfortable. granted i am allowed to request my bed be Remade/changed but that requires movement from one bed or have it made around me with also requires movement, which endangers Conner. so really it is a toss up, i can request it. and be jostled and moved or i can wait for my next bath which happens about once a blue moon, or every Saturday, and thursday, if i remind them that it is Saturday, or thursday.
and I know i should just be grateful.
I would like to make it Clear i am not complaining about the way i have to live. I am Grateful that i am still pregnant, I know that there are woman out there that can not, and would more then take my place to be able to have the blessing that i have, by having children.
I have family that had their babies that would have done anything to have had the opertouniny to carry their baby to term.
I Try really hard to count my blessings, Everyday, it sounds a lot like...
I am grateful for my son,
I am grateful for the fact that my heathy son has people that can care for him while his daddy is at work so that he can provide for his family.
I am Grateful for nurses and tech that have compassion and take the time to share little pieces of their lives with me to make me feel a little more normal.
I am grateful for my Friends that take a day out of their lives EVERY week to visit me and bring me real food from places that i really miss.
I am grateful for Family that calls me daily, text me daily and send me popcorn balls i Frontierville. and it it unbelievably pathetic how happy that makes me.
I am Grateful for TV, Food, Meds, Doctors that i swear deserve sainthood, and all the little things that i overlook each day.
However today was just not a good day, and as grateful and glad as i am to be pregnant with a seeming heathy baby boy. I am TIRED OF BEING HERE>
I miss my MOM, MY BOYS, MY BED, MY COUCH, MY CAT, MY CAR, MY CRAZY FAMILY SUNDAY PARTYS, NORMAL FOOD, MY DVR, MY WHAT DO YOU CALL IT,.....
MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
end of vent for now ... love you all
I live in a HOSPITAL! I get out of bed when i have to pee. but FYI its a risk. to my son, but i cant pee on my bed anymore or i would freak out.
I eat what the Hospital provides, sometimes, (but not all the time) things i pick. but lets face it. it is stuff that EVERYONE complains about when talking about the hospital stay. I get to eat here for 123 days. YAY ME
I live in my bed, I have eat in my bed, i brush my teeth in bed, because standing of two minutes to brush my teeth could end my pregnancy. which is NOT AN OPTION.
because i live in bed means all my activities happen in my bed which include but are not limited to..... coloring, cross stitching, facebooking, leg excises, tv watching, all of which i am very grateful to have available to me. however i drop something. I have to call someone to get it. i lose something in the covers i have to try to find it.. which takes a lot of moving which i am not really suppose to do. because movement stresses my uterus which holds Conner, which needs to not be stressed because i need it to continue to hold Conner. so losing things which does happen, ex. Phones, speakers for the TV, Pens, God countless pens, Crayons, markers, needles, as well a zillions of crumbs that later make me itch, and get horribly uncomfortable. granted i am allowed to request my bed be Remade/changed but that requires movement from one bed or have it made around me with also requires movement, which endangers Conner. so really it is a toss up, i can request it. and be jostled and moved or i can wait for my next bath which happens about once a blue moon, or every Saturday, and thursday, if i remind them that it is Saturday, or thursday.
and I know i should just be grateful.
I would like to make it Clear i am not complaining about the way i have to live. I am Grateful that i am still pregnant, I know that there are woman out there that can not, and would more then take my place to be able to have the blessing that i have, by having children.
I have family that had their babies that would have done anything to have had the opertouniny to carry their baby to term.
I Try really hard to count my blessings, Everyday, it sounds a lot like...
I am grateful for my son,
I am grateful for the fact that my heathy son has people that can care for him while his daddy is at work so that he can provide for his family.
I am Grateful for nurses and tech that have compassion and take the time to share little pieces of their lives with me to make me feel a little more normal.
I am grateful for my Friends that take a day out of their lives EVERY week to visit me and bring me real food from places that i really miss.
I am grateful for Family that calls me daily, text me daily and send me popcorn balls i Frontierville. and it it unbelievably pathetic how happy that makes me.
I am Grateful for TV, Food, Meds, Doctors that i swear deserve sainthood, and all the little things that i overlook each day.
However today was just not a good day, and as grateful and glad as i am to be pregnant with a seeming heathy baby boy. I am TIRED OF BEING HERE>
I miss my MOM, MY BOYS, MY BED, MY COUCH, MY CAT, MY CAR, MY CRAZY FAMILY SUNDAY PARTYS, NORMAL FOOD, MY DVR, MY WHAT DO YOU CALL IT,.....
MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
end of vent for now ... love you all
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
February 15th ultrasound day!
I hung out all day, slept some. Cross stitched some. And watched some tv. The basics of bed rest stuff.
About 5 doctor Richey comes down and does the ultrasound. My cervix is still really short. So I am staying for a while. She said we would reevaluate when I am 26 weeks. So that is four weeks from now.
We talked about the tubule, she said it was not something we needed to do for my heath.
Also my uterus looks rough. And Justin can't hang out or bounce on me. It is dangerous for Conner.
It is possible for me to walk to the bathroom and pee. Which Is awesome!
No more commode. So it was a bad and good day.
It is going to be ok. Goodnight
About 5 doctor Richey comes down and does the ultrasound. My cervix is still really short. So I am staying for a while. She said we would reevaluate when I am 26 weeks. So that is four weeks from now.
We talked about the tubule, she said it was not something we needed to do for my heath.
Also my uterus looks rough. And Justin can't hang out or bounce on me. It is dangerous for Conner.
It is possible for me to walk to the bathroom and pee. Which Is awesome!
No more commode. So it was a bad and good day.
It is going to be ok. Goodnight
Happy valentines day!!
Today was ok, I found out that doctor Richey is back from london. Which is good. I waited patiently for her to do rounds.
I woke up to my hubby calling me and saying he loved me. But then he went back to work.
I spent a little bit of time talking to my sisters wishing them happy valentines day. All except Lindsey love! :( I hope she forgives me. Cuz I love her tons
I took a nap, I have been tired a lot lately
But it works out. The bed isn't bad. And I really have no complaints.
Doctor Richey came in and we looked at my abdomen. Said that she was doing an ultrasound in tomorrow. To check my cervix and depending on what we see I may be we could talk about home, but then she realized I live in palmer. And that is a really long way from where I would be safest. But we will look tomorrow and talk about options.
I called Justin. He didn't really have anything to say. He woke up from his nap
They took him down to the river to nap. That makes me wonder what they do down there. But I trust them and they do a good job.
I got a good nurse, Megial. She is a beautiful smart and super sweet nurse.
I went to bed late as I always do.
All the way you look at it it was a ok day.
I woke up to my hubby calling me and saying he loved me. But then he went back to work.
I spent a little bit of time talking to my sisters wishing them happy valentines day. All except Lindsey love! :( I hope she forgives me. Cuz I love her tons
I took a nap, I have been tired a lot lately
But it works out. The bed isn't bad. And I really have no complaints.
Doctor Richey came in and we looked at my abdomen. Said that she was doing an ultrasound in tomorrow. To check my cervix and depending on what we see I may be we could talk about home, but then she realized I live in palmer. And that is a really long way from where I would be safest. But we will look tomorrow and talk about options.
I called Justin. He didn't really have anything to say. He woke up from his nap
They took him down to the river to nap. That makes me wonder what they do down there. But I trust them and they do a good job.
I got a good nurse, Megial. She is a beautiful smart and super sweet nurse.
I went to bed late as I always do.
All the way you look at it it was a ok day.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday February 13th
I woke up a little late, but it was a late night so that was ok with me.
I had Vicky as my Nurse and i Really like her.. we worked on my Potholder some more. and I am more comfortable with reading Patterns. which is going to be good.
I talked with Whitney for a long time with was nice. I also spoke with Amie and Lindesy. which was Wonderful.
I decided that today was a good day, but i was going to take a short nap for a while till dinner..
Little did I know I was going to get unexpected Visitors.. In walk my boys, I was ECSTATIC.
Best day ever!!
Justin brought me a Card and Socks, and Jason Brought a Card and a stuffed animal. with some Chocolate my favorite kind. yay. but mostly to be able to smell his hair. and watch him play with his blocks and trucks. and Cuddle on my Bed with my wonderful husband. He understands Me which isnt something that is easy,
the Deep moment of this particular day is this. Justin and Jason and soon Conner are my life. there is NOTHING i wouldn't do for them, I feel like my life is complete. at this point. everything is wonderful. I get to hear Conners little Heartbeat. it is wonderful. and i also get to feel him move around he kicks and moves and lets me know that he is there and excited about being part of our family.
I have dealt with some serious worries about letting people down. Mostly My Jason. I want to bring him a Heathy baby boy in June. and i am going to do everything i can do. but i am worried that my body wont follow though with that. My Job is to keep him safe, That is a Job I don't want to fail at.
I had Vicky as my Nurse and i Really like her.. we worked on my Potholder some more. and I am more comfortable with reading Patterns. which is going to be good.
I talked with Whitney for a long time with was nice. I also spoke with Amie and Lindesy. which was Wonderful.
I decided that today was a good day, but i was going to take a short nap for a while till dinner..
Little did I know I was going to get unexpected Visitors.. In walk my boys, I was ECSTATIC.
Best day ever!!
Justin brought me a Card and Socks, and Jason Brought a Card and a stuffed animal. with some Chocolate my favorite kind. yay. but mostly to be able to smell his hair. and watch him play with his blocks and trucks. and Cuddle on my Bed with my wonderful husband. He understands Me which isnt something that is easy,
the Deep moment of this particular day is this. Justin and Jason and soon Conner are my life. there is NOTHING i wouldn't do for them, I feel like my life is complete. at this point. everything is wonderful. I get to hear Conners little Heartbeat. it is wonderful. and i also get to feel him move around he kicks and moves and lets me know that he is there and excited about being part of our family.
I have dealt with some serious worries about letting people down. Mostly My Jason. I want to bring him a Heathy baby boy in June. and i am going to do everything i can do. but i am worried that my body wont follow though with that. My Job is to keep him safe, That is a Job I don't want to fail at.
feb, 9th-12 2011 day 9ish
so, it was forever ago. but lets see,
Wednesday:
I had a good nurse, i am not sure which one it was, but it was good.
My Kiddo came and visited with my Momma, and Molly. it was so good to see him. I had subway, cuz my sister is AWEsome AND went to the subway and had it made Just the way i liked it. cuz she rocks like that.
that was pretty much the highlights of the day, good food. great visits, and a nice nurse. end of day i guess.
Thursday 2-10:
it was a down day, Jason came to see me, cuz he was unable to visit on wed. so he swing in in between work and school. He is such a good man. I love him so much.
I listened a lot of my book.. it is almost done. Twilight, SOOOO good.
My bestest, and is wonderful Girlfriend came cuz it was thursday, and he doesn't let me down. we talked for a long time. had a good visit. life was good.
as they were leaving i got the worse headache i have ever experienced. it sucked HUGE time. and i pretty much spent all night up throwing up. from the headache. I did get to sleep thanks to some meds.
Friday 2-11: Good day, Mom and Grandma came and visited i continued to have the worst headache. I did some work on my potholder. it is turning out good. i ended up finishing my book. it was awesome.
Callie came and visited. with Trey and Steven. it was nice. i went to bed with a huge amount of medication. because my headache seemed to SUCK!!!
Saterday: 2-12
Had the Nurse Dawn, she is going to hell. cuz she treats me like i am a phic patient for some reason got the Doctor to feel like he need a Chaperone. and then gave me 20 questions about my medications and have i tried this, and would i be interested in trying this. i respectfully told him No. i was doing just fine on what i was on. and that i had a therapist thanks, and I was a Stable bipolar and that was not the reason i was here. and that problems that were not problems didn't need to be addressed. he didn't care much about the diabetes. and he moved on.
I then slept for the rest of the day, because A: i had the worst headache ever. and 2: trust me it is better then dealing with the nurse.
shift changed.. it was awesome< Mom and Mom came in to see me. it was also awesome. and I talked to the supervisor. and arranged for Dawn to never be nurse again. and i went to sleep kinda late. sunday was coming and all my normal visits were not gonna happen cuz Jason a had Drill and so it was just not a day that was gonna go down in the books.
end of blog.
that is for my WONDERFUL STALKER. Love you LINDSEY
Wednesday:
I had a good nurse, i am not sure which one it was, but it was good.
My Kiddo came and visited with my Momma, and Molly. it was so good to see him. I had subway, cuz my sister is AWEsome AND went to the subway and had it made Just the way i liked it. cuz she rocks like that.
that was pretty much the highlights of the day, good food. great visits, and a nice nurse. end of day i guess.
Thursday 2-10:
it was a down day, Jason came to see me, cuz he was unable to visit on wed. so he swing in in between work and school. He is such a good man. I love him so much.
I listened a lot of my book.. it is almost done. Twilight, SOOOO good.
My bestest, and is wonderful Girlfriend came cuz it was thursday, and he doesn't let me down. we talked for a long time. had a good visit. life was good.
as they were leaving i got the worse headache i have ever experienced. it sucked HUGE time. and i pretty much spent all night up throwing up. from the headache. I did get to sleep thanks to some meds.
Friday 2-11: Good day, Mom and Grandma came and visited i continued to have the worst headache. I did some work on my potholder. it is turning out good. i ended up finishing my book. it was awesome.
Callie came and visited. with Trey and Steven. it was nice. i went to bed with a huge amount of medication. because my headache seemed to SUCK!!!
Saterday: 2-12
Had the Nurse Dawn, she is going to hell. cuz she treats me like i am a phic patient for some reason got the Doctor to feel like he need a Chaperone. and then gave me 20 questions about my medications and have i tried this, and would i be interested in trying this. i respectfully told him No. i was doing just fine on what i was on. and that i had a therapist thanks, and I was a Stable bipolar and that was not the reason i was here. and that problems that were not problems didn't need to be addressed. he didn't care much about the diabetes. and he moved on.
I then slept for the rest of the day, because A: i had the worst headache ever. and 2: trust me it is better then dealing with the nurse.
shift changed.. it was awesome< Mom and Mom came in to see me. it was also awesome. and I talked to the supervisor. and arranged for Dawn to never be nurse again. and i went to sleep kinda late. sunday was coming and all my normal visits were not gonna happen cuz Jason a had Drill and so it was just not a day that was gonna go down in the books.
end of blog.
that is for my WONDERFUL STALKER. Love you LINDSEY
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
febuary, 8th 2011 day 13
I got a new nurse, her name was claire, they did come in what seemed like every 15 minutes, but she was polite, didn't say crap that was uncool and for the most part it was a good day,
I listened to Twilight on cd,
Whitney Michael, and Kaylynn came to visit.
Whitney picked up my diamond ring, so that feels good to have on my finger again.
there was a breakfast lunch and dinner
honestly the kind i like.
I listened to Twilight on cd,
Whitney Michael, and Kaylynn came to visit.
Whitney picked up my diamond ring, so that feels good to have on my finger again.
there was a breakfast lunch and dinner
honestly the kind i like.
Good Morning? Blog for 2/7/2011
I will start at the listing the Random CRAP i had to listen too. First, I woke up with a little of a low sugar, I had slept in by quite alot, and so it didn't surprise me and i didn't wake up shaky, just eat my breakfast, OJ first. not panicked. then my nurse came in. she asked what my sugar was, i told her.
this particular nurse has a very strong, "i am right, and i know better then the doctor" attitude. and for some reason has zero problem sitting down on the end of my bed and making herself at home. to criticize EVERYTHING!!!! a few examples are "they don't usually let you sit up that high" Really "they" have never said anything. "Please tell me you have signed your consent for a tubule already?" Um no... Bitch "i usually they only allow your bedside commode for bowl movements" well that isn't what the order says, so can i go pee please. or would you like me to hold it? all things i Want to but Didn't say.
so, i they leave and i eat, almost. they come back in 10 minutes later, and announce that the student is going to do my Assessment, OK? right now. or can i eat?
Because of the low sugar i was holding off on the insulin tell i knew my sugar was up, as to not make my blood sugar too low. but they came in, and spent 35 minutes finding lung/bowel sounds. and reflexes which they said i didn't have, and another 25 finding Conners Heartbeat. cuz apparently it isn't in my hip? i ended up taking the thing and finding it for him. the Nurse had NO problem letting her waste my time. in this process she ended up off handedly bringing up the tubule AGAIN. which i curtly told her WASNT funny and Wasn't something i was discussing any further this delayed my bolas for my meal, and i knew that I was going to be looking at a high sugar at 2 hours because my Bolas would only be about an hour in.
I checked at the two hour mark because they came in to Replace my IV. "awesome" and it was High just like i knew it would be. however a Correction was NOT needed as i already had insulin working on the problem. I reluctantly told her the number and said that it was gonna come down and it was going to be just fine. "I just feel bad for the Baby" Yeah I lost my Mind. all of my filters left and i was not hearing anymore of this crap. i told her that their was NO reason why should she should feel sorry for Conner. she was being a bitch, and her off handed comments about the tubule were inappropriate and needed to NOT be brought up again. unless your can actually preform the surgery. and she looked at me like i was not only wrong but completely not in the right to be upset at the comment. like the comment was NORMAL. she then Said she was going to give me some space of which I said was a VERY good idea, cuz i was more then a lot pissed off. and was going to need some help calming down. I made some calls, waited for my sugar to come down, (it only took about 45 minutes) imagine that the amount of time the bolas was delayed. HUH. she came in with the doctor and had her remind me that high sugars were bad for the baby, DUH. thank you. i knew that, and it wasn't staying high. it was already down into normal by the time she came in to say the obvious. they all left, and left me to figure out how i was going to get though the day without killing her.
i bit the bullet called them in to put in my IV. although i didn't really want HER doing it. afraid she would f it up on purpose. but i told myself that that was the stupidest thing ever, and no one would do that. she came in, with the doctor again who asked how i was doing, And if i thought i needed to "talk" to someone. I of course said YES. she looked confused at the nurse and walked out of the room. the Nurse dropped what she was doing, and walked the doctor to the door. and the doctor said, i am going to go write the order for a Phiec consult, she Doesn't have a Problem with it. it was said in a way that made me believe that it wasn't the doctors Idea.
they took out my IV, and had to stick me Twice, because she said the Equipment was Faulty. my thought was Yeah it sure is, you suck at IV's just like everyone else in this unit. they don't do them a whole lot.
I had a telephone appointment with Doc. Tanner and he said that my numbers looked great, and what they were expecting was not gonna happen, cuz blood sugars fluctuate, being that it is like everything else in Human control, and Guess what We make Mistakes,
the rest of the day was spent sleeping so i didn't have to deal with her, and her crap. Fair? i think no. about shift Change she came in and tried to be buddy buddy with me. and told me about a 24 weeker that was born last week in the patients bed. I asked if the child made it. and she said there was a difference between Making it, and having a Brain. I again thought, Why are you telling me this?
She also told me that she knew how I felt being on bed rest, she was on bed rest for a while with her first pregnancy, and she delivered early at 36 weeks to a 10lb 4oz baby. i asked her how long she was stuck in bed, she replied 3 days. I didn't say anything to that, cuz that isn't the same. as 2 weeks, or 17 in my case.
she said that i wasn't communicating well, that is why she didn't say the right thing, and that i needed to somehow tell her why i thought it was ok, cuz the statement made it seem like i was in denial. i blew her off. i couldn't have been more clear, my sugar was coming down, and she needed to give it 45 more minutes. Just like i said.
Thankfully shift Changed, and Willie came on, who asked how my day was, and i gave her the short story. She was appalled at some of the comments she made, said that i wasn't the only one with problems with her, and that she has always been a Problem in her book. and that it was obvius that i knew what i was doing, that A1C's don't lie. and 6.2 is Great. and to keep up the good work.
so that is my horror story about Dawn, a day nurse from Hell, who needs to go home soon, and if i have her again i may send her there myself!!!
this particular nurse has a very strong, "i am right, and i know better then the doctor" attitude. and for some reason has zero problem sitting down on the end of my bed and making herself at home. to criticize EVERYTHING!!!! a few examples are "they don't usually let you sit up that high" Really "they" have never said anything. "Please tell me you have signed your consent for a tubule already?" Um no... Bitch "i usually they only allow your bedside commode for bowl movements" well that isn't what the order says, so can i go pee please. or would you like me to hold it? all things i Want to but Didn't say.
so, i they leave and i eat, almost. they come back in 10 minutes later, and announce that the student is going to do my Assessment, OK? right now. or can i eat?
Because of the low sugar i was holding off on the insulin tell i knew my sugar was up, as to not make my blood sugar too low. but they came in, and spent 35 minutes finding lung/bowel sounds. and reflexes which they said i didn't have, and another 25 finding Conners Heartbeat. cuz apparently it isn't in my hip? i ended up taking the thing and finding it for him. the Nurse had NO problem letting her waste my time. in this process she ended up off handedly bringing up the tubule AGAIN. which i curtly told her WASNT funny and Wasn't something i was discussing any further this delayed my bolas for my meal, and i knew that I was going to be looking at a high sugar at 2 hours because my Bolas would only be about an hour in.
I checked at the two hour mark because they came in to Replace my IV. "awesome" and it was High just like i knew it would be. however a Correction was NOT needed as i already had insulin working on the problem. I reluctantly told her the number and said that it was gonna come down and it was going to be just fine. "I just feel bad for the Baby" Yeah I lost my Mind. all of my filters left and i was not hearing anymore of this crap. i told her that their was NO reason why should she should feel sorry for Conner. she was being a bitch, and her off handed comments about the tubule were inappropriate and needed to NOT be brought up again. unless your can actually preform the surgery. and she looked at me like i was not only wrong but completely not in the right to be upset at the comment. like the comment was NORMAL. she then Said she was going to give me some space of which I said was a VERY good idea, cuz i was more then a lot pissed off. and was going to need some help calming down. I made some calls, waited for my sugar to come down, (it only took about 45 minutes) imagine that the amount of time the bolas was delayed. HUH. she came in with the doctor and had her remind me that high sugars were bad for the baby, DUH. thank you. i knew that, and it wasn't staying high. it was already down into normal by the time she came in to say the obvious. they all left, and left me to figure out how i was going to get though the day without killing her.
i bit the bullet called them in to put in my IV. although i didn't really want HER doing it. afraid she would f it up on purpose. but i told myself that that was the stupidest thing ever, and no one would do that. she came in, with the doctor again who asked how i was doing, And if i thought i needed to "talk" to someone. I of course said YES. she looked confused at the nurse and walked out of the room. the Nurse dropped what she was doing, and walked the doctor to the door. and the doctor said, i am going to go write the order for a Phiec consult, she Doesn't have a Problem with it. it was said in a way that made me believe that it wasn't the doctors Idea.
they took out my IV, and had to stick me Twice, because she said the Equipment was Faulty. my thought was Yeah it sure is, you suck at IV's just like everyone else in this unit. they don't do them a whole lot.
I had a telephone appointment with Doc. Tanner and he said that my numbers looked great, and what they were expecting was not gonna happen, cuz blood sugars fluctuate, being that it is like everything else in Human control, and Guess what We make Mistakes,
the rest of the day was spent sleeping so i didn't have to deal with her, and her crap. Fair? i think no. about shift Change she came in and tried to be buddy buddy with me. and told me about a 24 weeker that was born last week in the patients bed. I asked if the child made it. and she said there was a difference between Making it, and having a Brain. I again thought, Why are you telling me this?
She also told me that she knew how I felt being on bed rest, she was on bed rest for a while with her first pregnancy, and she delivered early at 36 weeks to a 10lb 4oz baby. i asked her how long she was stuck in bed, she replied 3 days. I didn't say anything to that, cuz that isn't the same. as 2 weeks, or 17 in my case.
she said that i wasn't communicating well, that is why she didn't say the right thing, and that i needed to somehow tell her why i thought it was ok, cuz the statement made it seem like i was in denial. i blew her off. i couldn't have been more clear, my sugar was coming down, and she needed to give it 45 more minutes. Just like i said.
Thankfully shift Changed, and Willie came on, who asked how my day was, and i gave her the short story. She was appalled at some of the comments she made, said that i wasn't the only one with problems with her, and that she has always been a Problem in her book. and that it was obvius that i knew what i was doing, that A1C's don't lie. and 6.2 is Great. and to keep up the good work.
so that is my horror story about Dawn, a day nurse from Hell, who needs to go home soon, and if i have her again i may send her there myself!!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, febuary 6, 2011
GeoTagged, [N61.18812, E149.81843]
Today was the best day ever!!
Started out rough, but it ended up the most wonderful day ever.
Jason brought Justin and Simba. And they both cuddled with me for a long time. It was nice to relax with my sweet boy. They brought me dinner. My favorite porkchops and applesauce. With mashed potatoes!!
Then we I has dinner, and sent some pictures to Walgreens so that mom could pick them up and I could put them on my wall!! They look awesome.
So mom and Paula and Molly doll came in, we watched a movie, baby momma. So funny, I love it. They ended up staying till about 11 o'clock. And then I did some computer stuff till the Internet went out. Now I am writing my blog on my phone, good old 3G. Never goes out. And I am headed to bed as soon as I am done here.
Side note is it was the Superbowl today
And green bay packers won!!
I also started a potholder, as well as worked on my door hanger, callie bought me. Mostly I am really blessed and I am grateful for everything my family and friends do for me.
I love you all. Goodnight
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Febuary 5th 2011
So today pretty much had nothing good about it! I had a really opinionated nurse, who thinks that she can give to doctor advice to change orders about getting up to pee. Same one who would like me to tie my tubes. Also she didn't feel like my antibiotic needed to be given on time. Awesome!!
I got up ate, and went back to sleep after talking with my sister for a bit. I slept so I wouldn't have the hear her crap!
I got up at lunch, ate, then got a bath, and they moved me to a larger room. 106 now.
Little man heart tones are fabulous. And I am having no discharge, bleeding, or cramping, and no contractions. So that is the same sense this adventure started.
I miss my family, but that isn't anything new. I took a nap before dinner and met my new nurse at 7. She is nice and very attentive.
I did some cross stitch that my big sister got me I am kicking Butt on it! It is gonna look good.
I am tired but the meds they give me to sleep seem to hate me. I am nausas as always at night.
Any way tomorrow I get to see my baby boy ! Jason is bringing him in! So I can't wait for that. Ok goodnight!!
I got up ate, and went back to sleep after talking with my sister for a bit. I slept so I wouldn't have the hear her crap!
I got up at lunch, ate, then got a bath, and they moved me to a larger room. 106 now.
Little man heart tones are fabulous. And I am having no discharge, bleeding, or cramping, and no contractions. So that is the same sense this adventure started.
I miss my family, but that isn't anything new. I took a nap before dinner and met my new nurse at 7. She is nice and very attentive.
I did some cross stitch that my big sister got me I am kicking Butt on it! It is gonna look good.
I am tired but the meds they give me to sleep seem to hate me. I am nausas as always at night.
Any way tomorrow I get to see my baby boy ! Jason is bringing him in! So I can't wait for that. Ok goodnight!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Happy Friday February 4th 2011
Today was a good day, I didn't get much sleep, but i was able to make up for it with a super long nap.
I woke up to visitors, First Amanda, which is so awesome.
then Momma came, with My nephew Trey,
My dad called to say hi. It was nice to talk to him.
Then Jessie, stopped by with twilight on cd for me. I am super excited about that!!!!
and then Whit and Kaylynn came by. and she bought me a snickers ice cream bar. which was faboulas.
dinner was good, i talked with my love, then played with my phone my Rummy game Which for the record is totally addicting. then i got ready for bed and now i am writing this to let all my people know that it was a good day.
so good night. i have a IV running right now cuz i am a little dehydrated. but after it is done i should feel better.
anyway, good night.
I woke up to visitors, First Amanda, which is so awesome.
then Momma came, with My nephew Trey,
My dad called to say hi. It was nice to talk to him.
Then Jessie, stopped by with twilight on cd for me. I am super excited about that!!!!
and then Whit and Kaylynn came by. and she bought me a snickers ice cream bar. which was faboulas.
dinner was good, i talked with my love, then played with my phone my Rummy game Which for the record is totally addicting. then i got ready for bed and now i am writing this to let all my people know that it was a good day.
so good night. i have a IV running right now cuz i am a little dehydrated. but after it is done i should feel better.
anyway, good night.
Friday, February 4, 2011
febuary, 3rd 2011
so i have past the 20 week mark, so i am one week closer to my goal. YAY!!
Today was a good day, i did have a little bit of a high sugar after breakfast, but i will see if it will continue to do so as the week goes on.
I had my bestest come visit with is wonderful Girl, and it was nice to talk about normal stuff.
The doctor took me off the "bedpan" I am now allowed to go to the bedside commode!!! i know this shouldn't excite me but it is really exciting.
getting out of bed even for half a second is nice. it is funny i have to prep my feet. by sitting on the side of the bed and put pressure on them so that the pins and needles become bearable.
I want to go home soooo much it is crazy, but Little man is the most important thing. We named him Conner Matthew, I am not sure that is the name that fits him.. I really like it, but it just donsnt seem to fit. so i am going to try a few different names but i don't know.
that is about it. nothing really that awesome, nothing really that bad, just another day.
Today was a good day, i did have a little bit of a high sugar after breakfast, but i will see if it will continue to do so as the week goes on.
I had my bestest come visit with is wonderful Girl, and it was nice to talk about normal stuff.
The doctor took me off the "bedpan" I am now allowed to go to the bedside commode!!! i know this shouldn't excite me but it is really exciting.
getting out of bed even for half a second is nice. it is funny i have to prep my feet. by sitting on the side of the bed and put pressure on them so that the pins and needles become bearable.
I want to go home soooo much it is crazy, but Little man is the most important thing. We named him Conner Matthew, I am not sure that is the name that fits him.. I really like it, but it just donsnt seem to fit. so i am going to try a few different names but i don't know.
that is about it. nothing really that awesome, nothing really that bad, just another day.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wednesday Feb, 2 2011
Ok lets see, woke up, got introduced to my day nurse. of whom name was Dawn. she was nice enough. but she was well FUN!!
it was here are your medicine, how long are you here? how far along are you? you have a little boy? Oh please tell me you have signed your consent to tie those tubes..... WTF
I am so sick and tired of being told by random people that this is my only choice.. how the hell do they know what is right for me, and MY family. i have been sitting here are week today, it sucks, no question. However i am not prepared to make these decision with out 1: talking with my husband, 2: learning all my options 3: giving it some really hard and long thought; 4: talking with my doctor about the risks of another pregnancy a few years down the line. I would like to see and hear actual medical reason as to why this is the only thing for me. Is it because of my Cervix? or are you saying that cuz my diabetes? because your a NURSE. forgive me if i don't give a damn about your opinion. this will be a Hard thing to take in.. if it is in fact the way it has to be done. I am 27 years old, it isn't like i am 16 and have 2 kids and have 8 abortions. you know. I am a responsible mom/wife and i am going to do what is best for my family. however i am not making those decisions right now.. at 20 weeks into a sucky bed rest situation.
I then got pretty depressed cuz this being thrown into casual conversation is VERY hard on the brain. when i all i have to do is sit here and think about my unborn child, my son at home, my husband. the stress this whole situation has put on my family, and Jason's Family. not to mention the fact that overnight Jason became a Full time Single Dad, a Full time student, and a breadwinner of a family that right now isn't all here.
So i Slept a lot. waiting for my little boy to come visit. my mom's were bringing him in, which i was VERY grateful for. I got to spend time with him. Love on him. I opened a box of CHEX of which he loves and he spent time eating some, and feeding me some.. and with every bite Laughing. It was good for my heart. he sat with me for a while, and then went to play. and when his daddy got here he remembered who his favorite was, they are so cute together. I am grateful that he has his Daddy who he loves so much. they pretty much are the cutiest thing EVER> anyone who thinks differently is Crazy. My mom took Nikkii home which was good. cuz it was making me nervous leaving her in the Garage forever and a day, and even when i leave i will not be allowed to drive.
A weird part of the day was I was not Visited by the doctor today. which is odd.
I know that the people Covering doctor Richey's patients is a Group of doctors and i guess thier are 7 of them in the practice. I have Met 3 of them. a lady who was having the worst day ever, and you could tell, McDreamy, and and Wickfiald, I think is his name, who was very nice. and personable.
we did pick out a name for our son, however i have been calling him it all night and i am not sure it is right. so we may have to figure something else out.
anyway, other than the pretty much depressing morning, a great visit in the afternoon. and the boring evening watching Weeds on Net Flicks, It was Just another day.
on the diabetes front everything was pretty normal, there was a high that had a hard time coming down. but it did. and as an overall things were pretty good, meaning the corrections Made by my genius doctor Tanner were spot on as always.
anyway that was my day, I am going to bed toinght Early because i am just tired and slightly rundown.. and i have a nurse who has never worked this wing before, so she has never done a patient one strict bed rest. so that is fun, So i am going to bed and hope that Lyn is back tomorrow and my Day will be uneventful. and less stressful with very little bullshit. that is petty to even bring up.
Good night
it was here are your medicine, how long are you here? how far along are you? you have a little boy? Oh please tell me you have signed your consent to tie those tubes..... WTF
I am so sick and tired of being told by random people that this is my only choice.. how the hell do they know what is right for me, and MY family. i have been sitting here are week today, it sucks, no question. However i am not prepared to make these decision with out 1: talking with my husband, 2: learning all my options 3: giving it some really hard and long thought; 4: talking with my doctor about the risks of another pregnancy a few years down the line. I would like to see and hear actual medical reason as to why this is the only thing for me. Is it because of my Cervix? or are you saying that cuz my diabetes? because your a NURSE. forgive me if i don't give a damn about your opinion. this will be a Hard thing to take in.. if it is in fact the way it has to be done. I am 27 years old, it isn't like i am 16 and have 2 kids and have 8 abortions. you know. I am a responsible mom/wife and i am going to do what is best for my family. however i am not making those decisions right now.. at 20 weeks into a sucky bed rest situation.
I then got pretty depressed cuz this being thrown into casual conversation is VERY hard on the brain. when i all i have to do is sit here and think about my unborn child, my son at home, my husband. the stress this whole situation has put on my family, and Jason's Family. not to mention the fact that overnight Jason became a Full time Single Dad, a Full time student, and a breadwinner of a family that right now isn't all here.
So i Slept a lot. waiting for my little boy to come visit. my mom's were bringing him in, which i was VERY grateful for. I got to spend time with him. Love on him. I opened a box of CHEX of which he loves and he spent time eating some, and feeding me some.. and with every bite Laughing. It was good for my heart. he sat with me for a while, and then went to play. and when his daddy got here he remembered who his favorite was, they are so cute together. I am grateful that he has his Daddy who he loves so much. they pretty much are the cutiest thing EVER> anyone who thinks differently is Crazy. My mom took Nikkii home which was good. cuz it was making me nervous leaving her in the Garage forever and a day, and even when i leave i will not be allowed to drive.
A weird part of the day was I was not Visited by the doctor today. which is odd.
I know that the people Covering doctor Richey's patients is a Group of doctors and i guess thier are 7 of them in the practice. I have Met 3 of them. a lady who was having the worst day ever, and you could tell, McDreamy, and and Wickfiald, I think is his name, who was very nice. and personable.
we did pick out a name for our son, however i have been calling him it all night and i am not sure it is right. so we may have to figure something else out.
anyway, other than the pretty much depressing morning, a great visit in the afternoon. and the boring evening watching Weeds on Net Flicks, It was Just another day.
on the diabetes front everything was pretty normal, there was a high that had a hard time coming down. but it did. and as an overall things were pretty good, meaning the corrections Made by my genius doctor Tanner were spot on as always.
anyway that was my day, I am going to bed toinght Early because i am just tired and slightly rundown.. and i have a nurse who has never worked this wing before, so she has never done a patient one strict bed rest. so that is fun, So i am going to bed and hope that Lyn is back tomorrow and my Day will be uneventful. and less stressful with very little bullshit. that is petty to even bring up.
Good night
feb. 1 2011 day 6 i think
So, Yesterday... i was to tired to write about it yesterday.. but this morning i am gonna.
Woke up, checked my sugar promptly when back to sleep. Breakfast came, and i woke up to eat it. cuz my therapist was coming to visit. had a good visit, we talked about stuff.
I hung out.. it was a pretty uneventful day. Doctor McDreamy came in.. Just for the record his name is Doctor Hinkel. he is also Very nice on top of being Very Pretty. He informed me that i did have a UTI which he was giving me antibiotics for. also cuz the catheter is what gave me said infection he was going to write an order to take it out. and put another one in for the next 24 hours cuz i could probably get up and go pee on my own after a week of strict bed rest. This is Great News.
Jason Called me at his Lunch about 11:30 to say hi and tell me the Good news about Justin-head going potty in the potty. I wasn't happy.. he says I handled it badly.. cuz i wrote a blog.. one i am not unwriteing. I am allowed to feel like i am missing out. and in these circumstances i feel like it was something that i had already said and the was the way i feel should be respected.
Flowers Came from sisterly #4 and a cute cuddly leopard stuffed animal.. cuz they don't let real ones in here.
and i spoke with a close friend in washington. cuz she rocks and called me when she felt like i was having a bad day. Cuz she rocks like that!!!
Lunch, nothing to report. hung out, colored some pictures, talked to my sisterley, my grandma, and later my son.. which was awesome i LOVE talking to him. even if he spends most of the time finding things to put the phone in. LOL it is great to be involved in his playtime.
Dinner nothing to report. it was food. Doctor Tanner Called me ajusted my Basal rate and my sensitivety factor. also made apptements foe every monday at 4 for phone consults. and don't let other people touch my pump!!
Jason called me and was all mad about prior blog/facebook status. and we Yelled for a good hour or so. then i got to talk to my sir justin-head. before going to bed.
I had a good Night nurse.. but she is taking a zillion days off. so i wont see her for awhile. which sucks.
anyway. that was yesterday, i will write later tonight about today. but it isn't looking good. i hope justin-head is gonna be happy to see me. then things might start looking up.
Woke up, checked my sugar promptly when back to sleep. Breakfast came, and i woke up to eat it. cuz my therapist was coming to visit. had a good visit, we talked about stuff.
I hung out.. it was a pretty uneventful day. Doctor McDreamy came in.. Just for the record his name is Doctor Hinkel. he is also Very nice on top of being Very Pretty. He informed me that i did have a UTI which he was giving me antibiotics for. also cuz the catheter is what gave me said infection he was going to write an order to take it out. and put another one in for the next 24 hours cuz i could probably get up and go pee on my own after a week of strict bed rest. This is Great News.
Jason Called me at his Lunch about 11:30 to say hi and tell me the Good news about Justin-head going potty in the potty. I wasn't happy.. he says I handled it badly.. cuz i wrote a blog.. one i am not unwriteing. I am allowed to feel like i am missing out. and in these circumstances i feel like it was something that i had already said and the was the way i feel should be respected.
Flowers Came from sisterly #4 and a cute cuddly leopard stuffed animal.. cuz they don't let real ones in here.
and i spoke with a close friend in washington. cuz she rocks and called me when she felt like i was having a bad day. Cuz she rocks like that!!!
Lunch, nothing to report. hung out, colored some pictures, talked to my sisterley, my grandma, and later my son.. which was awesome i LOVE talking to him. even if he spends most of the time finding things to put the phone in. LOL it is great to be involved in his playtime.
Dinner nothing to report. it was food. Doctor Tanner Called me ajusted my Basal rate and my sensitivety factor. also made apptements foe every monday at 4 for phone consults. and don't let other people touch my pump!!
Jason called me and was all mad about prior blog/facebook status. and we Yelled for a good hour or so. then i got to talk to my sir justin-head. before going to bed.
I had a good Night nurse.. but she is taking a zillion days off. so i wont see her for awhile. which sucks.
anyway. that was yesterday, i will write later tonight about today. but it isn't looking good. i hope justin-head is gonna be happy to see me. then things might start looking up.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2011 Day Im pissed off.
Ok, so this is a vent, i probably am going to say shit that isn't going to make sense to anyone be me. and Might even hurt peoples feelings and i don't give a damn.
You have been warned.
SO i get a call from Jason this morning, Justin i guess when pee on a potty, well, Let me tell you i am PISSED. and i am going to explain why, I have already said to the woman who feels it is her place to do my job. I Know he isnt ready to potty train yet. he shows no signs and testing my attority just because i am not there.. ISNT COOL. in my option signs of potty training are.
1: telling you im dirty/wet by bringing you a diaper when he is either.
2: following you into the bathroom with curiosity with what your doing
and those are the early signs. IMHO
He isn't doing any of these things. we had this conversation last week when you called me to thank me for getting info on your damn dog. you said that it would be cool to have him potty trained by the time this kiddo is born, I said yeah except he isn't ready.
as my nurse Lin says "you could train a dog to go in a potty if you put him on the potty ever 15 min" and my sister said "if you put him on the potty every hour on the hour he is bound to go at least once a day. "
Mostly I am not only stuck here without much contact to my LIFE AKA justin-head. and the person watching him is Super excited to step into my place by Pushing him into potty training. next thing you know they are going to change his WHOLE schedule because you don't give a damn about what mine is. and you think it is better that way.
It is bad enough that not only am i being told that i Cant have any other children. which is going to piss this person off also cuz you want me to have another one. but I get to never have a Girl. AWESOME> no not awesome Heartbreaking. and Me MISSING HUGE steps in my 18 month old child isn't make me feel any better. I am already FULLY aware that i am going to miss the moment he wakes up and starts talking in full sentences. so Respectfully FUCK YOU and your way of doing shit. how about you respect me and do things my way. i am sure i was the one they ripped him out of. that makes him MINE
My point is, Im mad, and you have no right. he doesn't need a new mom. He has one.
You have been warned.
SO i get a call from Jason this morning, Justin i guess when pee on a potty, well, Let me tell you i am PISSED. and i am going to explain why, I have already said to the woman who feels it is her place to do my job. I Know he isnt ready to potty train yet. he shows no signs and testing my attority just because i am not there.. ISNT COOL. in my option signs of potty training are.
1: telling you im dirty/wet by bringing you a diaper when he is either.
2: following you into the bathroom with curiosity with what your doing
and those are the early signs. IMHO
He isn't doing any of these things. we had this conversation last week when you called me to thank me for getting info on your damn dog. you said that it would be cool to have him potty trained by the time this kiddo is born, I said yeah except he isn't ready.
as my nurse Lin says "you could train a dog to go in a potty if you put him on the potty ever 15 min" and my sister said "if you put him on the potty every hour on the hour he is bound to go at least once a day. "
Mostly I am not only stuck here without much contact to my LIFE AKA justin-head. and the person watching him is Super excited to step into my place by Pushing him into potty training. next thing you know they are going to change his WHOLE schedule because you don't give a damn about what mine is. and you think it is better that way.
It is bad enough that not only am i being told that i Cant have any other children. which is going to piss this person off also cuz you want me to have another one. but I get to never have a Girl. AWESOME> no not awesome Heartbreaking. and Me MISSING HUGE steps in my 18 month old child isn't make me feel any better. I am already FULLY aware that i am going to miss the moment he wakes up and starts talking in full sentences. so Respectfully FUCK YOU and your way of doing shit. how about you respect me and do things my way. i am sure i was the one they ripped him out of. that makes him MINE
My point is, Im mad, and you have no right. he doesn't need a new mom. He has one.
January 31 2011 day whatever
Today was a good day, no crashes, which makes the staff feel better. a few kinks, cuz they are bound to happen. happened in the evening.
Morning, I woke up, said hello to the oncoming nurse, Lin. who as i have said before is AWESOME!!! so i took a nap, till about 9:30 I woke up and had breakfast, Cream of Wheat!! yay.. and a blueberry muffin. after breakfast, the Diabetes educator came in to talk with me... she made some adjustment on my pump. which Tanner may not like.. but i don't know. she is friendly. she said that she felt like i need and specialist on my case. and said that if tanner wouldn't do it. then Nolan would.. I don't like nolan. i have met him... he just doesn't do things my style. She said to see if tanner would be my doc. my first thought was well of course he will. Im HIS patient and have been forever. anyway, we clicked nicely, her name was Amy.
after Amy and i were done with our discussion i made a few calls, one to Nella My Therapist, whom i would miss an appointment.. on tuesday, so i called to cancel it and asked her people to call my people. I followed that phone call with a call to Doctor Tanners office. as i have an appointment on Wednesday. I asked if he had rights at Providence or if they knew of a way for us to get together. they made an phone consult at 12:30 tuesday. that call was followed by a call from his medical assistant Bill whom i adore, professionally. (i love the whole office). he said that tanner was back in the office, he would talk with him and tell him what was going on. he then looked at my pump download. and was sympathetic to the crazy rollercoster ride i have been on.
that was about it for the morning, In the afternoon i called my dear friend Maria, we talked for a while about stuff.. her stuff, my stuff, random stuff that had relevance to anyones stuff. It was so nice to just talk. I also received a nice message Via Facebook that was both supportive and really nice. Thank you. as well as nice comments that also made me feel a lot better about my role in my sons life. I have Lunch, which was ok but did result in a low blood sugar a few hours later, i had them hook up my IV port to some sugar so i didn't have to try so hard. to get it up. and it makes them feel better.
Jason came to visit, we cuddled a little, and talked about Babies room, and how it was going to be decorated. Money, and Justin-Head. He left and i was alone again. I spoke with Amie, she was doing well it seems. which makes me smile. i love that my family is doing well, and i feel like the better they are doing the better i feel. they came and checked baby boy, and while i was hooked up listening to that heartbeat i love so much, my phone rang and Nella was calling to say she would come see me in the hospital, at 9:30 tomorrow. So Family Continue to do amazing. it is good for me!!
I got dinner which looked horrible, so i called my bestest, Berick and begged him to bring me Arbys. which he did. and it was amazing. he visited and it was nice again telling all the stories of the stuff that has happened which means i don't have to like everyone.
while he was here the hospiatalest came in and basically said that low sugars are something she doesn't want to see. and FYI it is bad for you baby, DUH. but i guess it had to be put out there. anyway it was an ok visit she wasn't as nice as her partner, but you cant have everyone like you.
Berick left and they pulled out urine out of my Cath. which for all those who don't want to know, Hurts. I had also suffered a Ridiculous headache earlier in the day. my sugar ran a little high after dinner and i am waiting for my sugar to go down so i may go to sleep. peacefully. the nurse informed me that the doctor would like me to correct my sugars with skim milk. I told her i would stick what i know unless My Diabetic expert says he thinks that is a good idea. you cant tell me to do things with out giving me a good reason. unless i trust you and well i don't. yet. So good night. Here is to a Not horrible day.
Morning, I woke up, said hello to the oncoming nurse, Lin. who as i have said before is AWESOME!!! so i took a nap, till about 9:30 I woke up and had breakfast, Cream of Wheat!! yay.. and a blueberry muffin. after breakfast, the Diabetes educator came in to talk with me... she made some adjustment on my pump. which Tanner may not like.. but i don't know. she is friendly. she said that she felt like i need and specialist on my case. and said that if tanner wouldn't do it. then Nolan would.. I don't like nolan. i have met him... he just doesn't do things my style. She said to see if tanner would be my doc. my first thought was well of course he will. Im HIS patient and have been forever. anyway, we clicked nicely, her name was Amy.
after Amy and i were done with our discussion i made a few calls, one to Nella My Therapist, whom i would miss an appointment.. on tuesday, so i called to cancel it and asked her people to call my people. I followed that phone call with a call to Doctor Tanners office. as i have an appointment on Wednesday. I asked if he had rights at Providence or if they knew of a way for us to get together. they made an phone consult at 12:30 tuesday. that call was followed by a call from his medical assistant Bill whom i adore, professionally. (i love the whole office). he said that tanner was back in the office, he would talk with him and tell him what was going on. he then looked at my pump download. and was sympathetic to the crazy rollercoster ride i have been on.
that was about it for the morning, In the afternoon i called my dear friend Maria, we talked for a while about stuff.. her stuff, my stuff, random stuff that had relevance to anyones stuff. It was so nice to just talk. I also received a nice message Via Facebook that was both supportive and really nice. Thank you. as well as nice comments that also made me feel a lot better about my role in my sons life. I have Lunch, which was ok but did result in a low blood sugar a few hours later, i had them hook up my IV port to some sugar so i didn't have to try so hard. to get it up. and it makes them feel better.
Jason came to visit, we cuddled a little, and talked about Babies room, and how it was going to be decorated. Money, and Justin-Head. He left and i was alone again. I spoke with Amie, she was doing well it seems. which makes me smile. i love that my family is doing well, and i feel like the better they are doing the better i feel. they came and checked baby boy, and while i was hooked up listening to that heartbeat i love so much, my phone rang and Nella was calling to say she would come see me in the hospital, at 9:30 tomorrow. So Family Continue to do amazing. it is good for me!!
I got dinner which looked horrible, so i called my bestest, Berick and begged him to bring me Arbys. which he did. and it was amazing. he visited and it was nice again telling all the stories of the stuff that has happened which means i don't have to like everyone.
while he was here the hospiatalest came in and basically said that low sugars are something she doesn't want to see. and FYI it is bad for you baby, DUH. but i guess it had to be put out there. anyway it was an ok visit she wasn't as nice as her partner, but you cant have everyone like you.
Berick left and they pulled out urine out of my Cath. which for all those who don't want to know, Hurts. I had also suffered a Ridiculous headache earlier in the day. my sugar ran a little high after dinner and i am waiting for my sugar to go down so i may go to sleep. peacefully. the nurse informed me that the doctor would like me to correct my sugars with skim milk. I told her i would stick what i know unless My Diabetic expert says he thinks that is a good idea. you cant tell me to do things with out giving me a good reason. unless i trust you and well i don't. yet. So good night. Here is to a Not horrible day.
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