Crap that will piss someone off, 2/19/11

So I am having a really hard time with the shiny bright side of this whole situation.

I live in a HOSPITAL! I get out of bed when i have to pee. but FYI its a risk. to my son, but i cant pee on my bed anymore or i would freak out.

I eat what the Hospital provides, sometimes, (but not all the time) things i pick. but lets face it. it is stuff that EVERYONE complains about when talking about the hospital stay. I get to eat here for 123 days. YAY ME

I live in my bed, I have eat in my bed, i brush my teeth in bed, because standing of two minutes to brush my teeth could end my pregnancy. which is NOT AN OPTION.

because i live in bed means all my activities happen in my bed which include but are not limited to..... coloring, cross stitching, facebooking, leg excises, tv watching, all of which i am very grateful to have available to me. however i drop something. I have to call someone to get it. i lose something in the covers i have to try to find it.. which takes a lot of moving which i am not really suppose to do. because movement stresses my uterus which holds Conner, which needs to not be stressed because i need it to continue to hold Conner. so losing things which does happen, ex. Phones, speakers for the TV, Pens, God countless pens, Crayons, markers, needles, as well a zillions of crumbs that later make me itch, and get horribly uncomfortable. granted i am allowed to request my bed be Remade/changed but that requires movement from one bed or have it made around me with also requires movement, which endangers Conner. so really it is a toss up, i can request it. and be jostled and moved or i can wait for my next bath which happens about once a blue moon, or every Saturday, and thursday, if i remind them that it is Saturday, or thursday.

and I know i should just be grateful.

I would like to make it Clear i am not complaining about the way i have to live. I am Grateful that i am still pregnant, I know that there are woman out there that can not, and would more then take my place to be able to have the blessing that i have, by having children.

I have family that had their babies that would have done anything to have had the opertouniny to carry their baby to term.

I Try really hard to count my blessings, Everyday, it sounds a lot like...

I am grateful for my son,
I am grateful for the fact that my heathy son has people that can care for him while his daddy is at work so that he can provide for his family.
I am Grateful for nurses and tech that have compassion and take the time to share little pieces of their lives with me to make me feel a little more normal.
I am grateful for my Friends that take a day out of their lives EVERY week to visit me and bring me real food from places that i really miss.
I am grateful for Family that calls me daily, text me daily and send me popcorn balls i Frontierville. and it it unbelievably pathetic how happy that makes me.
I am Grateful for TV, Food, Meds, Doctors that i swear deserve sainthood, and all the little things that i overlook each day.

However today was just not a good day, and as grateful and glad as i am to be pregnant with a seeming heathy baby boy. I am TIRED OF BEING HERE>
I miss my MOM, MY BOYS, MY BED, MY COUCH, MY CAT, MY CAR, MY CRAZY FAMILY SUNDAY PARTYS, NORMAL FOOD, MY DVR, MY WHAT DO YOU CALL IT,.....

MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

end of vent for now ... love you all