Hey little man, I woke up this morning missing you. Grandma is bringing you over to see me today, I can't wait!
I miss little things, your laugh, your smiles, the cute was you wake up and play so you don't wake me up. I miss being able to touch your face whenever I want. I miss making your eggs. You love eggs. Mostly I miss being a mom.
I am not going to lie and say that Taylor Swifts words don't come to mind... Don't you ever grow up. Just stay this little. But I don't want you to grow up, I want you to make Mistakes, learn from them. So I'm not going to be selfish and say don't do anything new.
I just want you to know that I am here missing you.. Right now your little brother needs me to help him. We want him to come home in June. So you can teach him all the little things, how to start a band out of pots and spoons. How to pick just the right cereal to put on the floor, the whole box.. Not Just half. Ha ha that was daddy job to pick up. But just so you know that is something I wish I had been there.
I want to kiss you goodnight. Not just be a goodnight call. I wish you could understand about your brother, I don't think it would this easier but then at least you could understand why I have to be gone.
Today we are going to take a walk, and you will probably cry when we have to leave the window with your toys. But once you get out to the hall you will be a happy boy. You will probably walk all by yourself, which is good cuz momma can't carry you. Maybe we will have lunch and sit and I can just enjoy the little view of your world... That I can see.... Although it feels like I am watching it from a distance. I am glad I get to at least watch. An before you know it, I will be there to destroy your life. Or make it better (depends on the day) I can't wait, but I will... Cuz Conner is just as important as you. And the moment daddy put you I'm my arms and I thought my heart would explode. And I want to have another moment like that. You will understand that, when you have your first child. And you look into his or her eyes, and realize that this is a moment you will forever hold in your heart.
Anyway, your momma is the biggest sap ever, and daddy would roll his eyes and say I am being a silly head. Bu I want to let you know that I love you. Tons and tons. And I couldn't love you more. And I can't wait for you to meet your little brother it will only be 12 more weeks or so. I love you baby!
Love momma
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