I'm sad 3/8/2011

I am at a complete loss, I was always told to ask for what you need. Well alot of good that did. I have come to conclusion that people in a relationship suck! I mean how often do you go to lunch with your bff and take your husband? Everytime! I mean I understand to a certain extent. But really, my bff always brings other half. Well she does all the talking, he plays in his phone...... Um.... Well here is a thought maybe I'm not super happy about that. If your stupid ninja game is all you can think to do.. Maybe you should stay home. Your bored, and she Hates hospital and probably me. So how about you don't do me any favors. I don't need it. Seriously? You lent me twilight, and today you ask me whatever happened to it. What do you think? I watched it... And it is still sitting on the window sill with the rest of the movies.... Did you think I gave it away? You borrowed a movie from me what? 4 months ago? Have I asked NO! Why? cuz I assumed you have it you will return it when you remember. I'm not worried. It's not like a pair Of shoes. So I feel. My BFF has nothing to say to me, and his girlfriend doesn't want to be here by her own admission. So why come?

I am Just tired.. Irritated cuz there is nothing on tv, the Internet doesn't work tonight, and I just wanna curl up in a little ball and feel sorry for myself.

It bugs me everything bugs me. And I am sure said girlfriend is gonna have a huge issue with this blog, and she is a follower of my blog, so she is gonna be mad. She is probably going to say that I should just be grateful. And she is right, I should be... But I want my friend back.. The one where I didn't feel like I have to have something to say. We could just sit and watch a movie. Or whatever.

But no.... I am a bitch that can't county blessings cuz when I was I was told that I bitched all the time, blanketly blaming the world. So if that was what I was doing them maybe that is what I should do... I mean positive shit didn't do any good. I am still in this shitty hospital room. Where no one wants to go. Not my husband, not my mom, not my sisters. And certainly not my best friend. Don't get me wrong they all come... Well most of them. Most of them come in and that was there only reason for coming in. But let's face it... It is a huge burden.... They don't have time... And I am feeling totally guilty for being here... Making them feel obligated to go out of their way and visit me.
So this isn't a vent.... Im not mad, or upset. I am just done. This is me giving up. Those who love me will still love me. Those who don't, it isn't a loss. Cuz... I just don't need it.